So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
