We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
