dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
