so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
