dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
