I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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