he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
