I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
