Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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