a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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