the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
