She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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