the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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