chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
