She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
