I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
