About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Randomize
