So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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