just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
