is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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