I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
