A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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