Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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