Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I need water and some morals
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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