my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
