Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I'm really busy with my period
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