i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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