...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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