Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Im part way to drunk.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
