Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
