i just had sex bonerless
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
