i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
