But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
