is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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