I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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