Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
