i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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