Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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