I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
