is your mom at the bar?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
