its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
