You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
