i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
