Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
