You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
