how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Randomize
