Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
