I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
