I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
