But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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