Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
